


command me to be well

by ElasticElla



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Fix-It of Sorts, Multi, Post-Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-16 04:18:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11821083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElasticElla/pseuds/ElasticElla
Summary: Pick anything the angel said, the Seelie Queen said, and she chose Jace.Anything in the whole world, and she chooses whom she doesn’t have.That isn’t quite complete: she thought she had Simon.





	command me to be well

**Author's Note:**

> ...this didn't turn out half as dark as planned, but titles are meh so: title from take me to church
> 
> i'm on a shadowhunter rarepair kick if you wanna [submit a prompt ^.^](https://goo.gl/forms/cXNdZ5uRpE28EGtl1)

Jace wants to talk. He’s wanted to talk since the kiss that ruined everything, and she can’t look at that mouth. It isn’t fair but Clary never claimed fairness or goodness.

To love is to destroy, and she rebels against her own mind for the awful words daring to come back. They aren’t true, they can’t be. They aren’t allowed to be.

.

Pick anything the angel said, the Seelie Queen said, and she chose Jace. 

Anything in the whole world, and she chooses whom she doesn’t have. 

That isn’t quite complete: she thought she had Simon. 

.

_I love you, I love you, I love you._

Simon doesn’t answer, plays his music louder. 

She tries words and drawings and video games. She tries asking and telling and begging. At Izzy’s suggestion she gives him space- but not for long, she doesn’t have the patience. Izzy doesn’t try helping more after that, would much rather gush about her date to the planetarium. (Clary doesn’t blame her, and her date with Maia sounds delightful, normal even.)

She tries the full truth one night, a little drunk off desperation and recklessness, whispers against his threshold. 

_I love you both._

Simon opens the door. 

.

The blood on her hands from Simon’s resurrection haunts her more than the blood from her father’s death. 

It stains her hands true, and no amount of golden light can erase it. 

That isn’t quite fair: she isn’t haunted but enamored. 

.

“I need a new band name,” Simon says, fiddling with his guitar. Jace is lounging across Simon’s bed with a comic book- understanding pop culture turns out to be way more work than he anticipated when he agreed. Clary’s sketching on the floor, practicing with charcoal still lifes tonight. It’s their new normal- a fragile balance between the three of them glued together with chewing gum and sex and too many movies.

“Turn Signals are for Losers,” Clary says with a smirk. 

Simon laughs and Jace’s eyes narrow, “If mundanes had better reflexes-” 

“-the crash wouldn’t have happened,” Simon and Clary recite together. 

“Have you gone back to the driving school?” Simon asks. 

Jace ignores the question, suggesting instead, “Clary Fray and the Undead Boys.”

Clary throws an eraser at him, and Simon looks way too excited instead of amused. 

“Wait, Jace- you play piano. We could actually do that.” 

Clary smiles, can imagine it easily, seems obvious now that it’s been suggested. “Mhmm, that’d be cool. I’d love to watch that.” 

Jace raises an eyebrow, “You miss the first half of that name?”

She laughs, “Simon can tell you, I have zero musical talent. Like making children cry during karaoke zero talent.”

Simon shrugs, “I dunno, I bet you could stand in the back and hit a triangle between songs.” 

“Maybe even ring a bell,” Jace says. 

“Hit a cymbal,” Simon adds. 

“Shake a tambourine,” Jace laughs.

Clary rolls her eyes, wiping the charcoal off her hands and onto her jeans. “Cute, I’ll pass.”

There’s a burst of movement too quick for her eyes to process, and then Simon has her on his bed, between him and Jace.

“I think we have to persuade her,” Simon says, and four hands go for her stomach, tickling until she can’t breathe. It turns into kissing at some point, and it takes until morning for Clary to catch her breath.

.

Everyone Clary loves dies. 

Only Simon and Jace come back.

That isn’t quite true: she only _takes_ Simon and Jace back.


End file.
